Surprise, Surprise

We used to like surprises when we were kids. We wanted them.

We needed them.

Our surprises came in all shapes and forms. To call them surprises wasn't always accurate. We bought a box of Cracker Jacks knowing that there was a toy-and I use that term very loosely-inside. Toys like compasses or magic tricks or predictors of the future eventually evolved (devolved?) into stickers and tattoos that barely made it out of the box, dust from the dried peanuts and caramel corn causing it to degrade before you finished eating.

Cereal had surprises as well, although since there was usually an announcement of whatever treasure awaited you on the box, I don't think that really counted as a surprise, unless whatever Hot Wheels knockoff or "3D" baseball card (these were apparently called "lenticulars" for some reason or another) that awaited you was of high quality (rare, if not impossible). Of course, sometimes my mom would fail to grab the right box of cereal, picking the Corn Flakes that did not feature the blurb of the prize inside, meaning I'd have to plow through at least a dozen bowls before getting a shot at that elusive card. Mom missed those details sometimes.

Speaking of baseball cards, they probably represented the only actual, possibly valuable, surprise I can really remember, although they weren't technically free since you had to buy them. Every once in a while you'd get your favorite player, or maybe a superstar player, that would make that 10 cent investment at 7-11 worthwhile. Of course, if you did the math, you ended up with way more back-up infielders from the Milwaukee Brewers than you did future Hall of Famers, which was really no surprise at all.

I guess that culture lived on though, giving birth to putting toys in McDonald's Happy Meals, prizes in Hostess Snack Cakes, Bazooka Joe bubble gum, Tootsie Pops, etc., only a lot of those eventually made you send in box tops or UPCs or some other kind of proof of purchase to actually get your prize. The anticipation of opening a box or package and getting instant gratification, though, was gone, and wasn't fulfilled until 6 to 8 weeks later, if at all. That really ruined it-I didn't have the energy or the inclination to put that much effort into something that I knew would be ultimately disappointing.

No surprise there.