Suicidal Ponies, Female Vigilantes, and the 70s Song Lyrics we Loved to Hate

Brace yourselves, vinyl survivors, for a sentimental sucker punch wrapped in polyester and sealed with a tear-stained K-Tel sticker. This week, Jeff and Chris go deep into a genre of music best described as “AM Gold Meltdown”: overwrought epics where ghost horses roam the plains of confusion, dads are emotionally unavailable and terrible at parenting, and Southern justice is dealt out by corrupt judges and armed siblings with boundary issues. These are the songs your parents slow-danced to while chain-smoking and silently wondering if happiness was real.

Along the way, we ponder essential questions like: Can two full-grown adults ride a pony? Is a blackout a metaphor or just a power outage? And who the hell decided Terry Jacks was emotionally safe for public consumption? Featuring fake trials,hoot owls, and the long-overdue exposé on Seth Amos (who?), this episode dives headfirst into lyrical madness so you don’t have to.

Grab your 8-track, press play, and remember—little sister don’t miss when she aims her gun.