JEFF'S BIGFOOT UFO CONSPIRACY BAND

Episodes

56
April 24, 2025

Suicidal Ponies, Female Vigilantes, and the 70s Song Lyrics we Loved to Hate

Brace yourselves, vinyl survivors, for a sentimental sucker punch wrapped in polyester and sealed with a tear-stained K-Tel sticker. This week, Jeff and Chris go deep into a genre of music best described as “AM Gold Meltdown”: overwrought epics where ghost horses roam the plains of confusion, dads are emotionally unavailable and terrible at parenting, and Southern justice is dealt out by corrupt judges and armed siblings with boundary issues. These are the songs your parents slow-danced to while...
55
April 15, 2025

Metric Mayhem, Big League Trauma, and Jeff's Secret Library Affair

This week on Nice Pull!, Jeff and Chris stumble on a metric system PSA that begged America to take 10 minutes and just learn what a goddamn gram is. From there, it’s a chaotic spiral into shredded gum-based nightmares and the slow, sad death of Encyclopedia Britannica as it got body-slammed by the Internet. Along the way, you’ll learn how Jeff lost his heart in a library, why candy manufacturers were hellbent on turning kids into tiny tobacco addicts, and which forgotten teen idol accidentall...
54
April 7, 2025

Lightbulb Cakes, Tiger Beat Crushes, and the CIA Training Simulator for Girls

Jeff and Chris go full slumber party as they deep dive into the girlhood trenches of the '70s and '80s. We're talkin’ teen idols, Easy-Bake foolery, and a board game that trains future stalkers. There's yelling, there's shame, and there's a Donny Osmond lunchbox—because of course there is. Things spiral fast as “Uniden” gets name-dropped like it's a Bond villain, fake cake gets served hotter than a super nova, and AI watches from the shadows, judging us all. There's also a heartfelt request f...
53
April 3, 2025

Frozen Dinners, Scented Seduction, and yet another Doll from Hell

What starts as a harmless Target run quickly spirals into full-blown madness, complete with questionable dinner options, aggressively nostalgic fashion, and a demonic giggle that would make David Lynch proud. Along the way, Chris and Jeff uncover lost relics of 70s and 80s advertising that probably should’ve stayed buried, relive personal traumas involving denim shorts and capes, and expose the deeply suspicious agenda of toy cows. Also: someone might get emotionally manipulated by perfume. O...
52
March 25, 2025

Talking Cars, Wonder Woman vs. Isis, and that time Chris and Jeff met a Sleestak

Jeff and Chris kick things off with a casual meditation on talking dune buggies, then spiral into a kaleidoscopic freakout of animated fever dreams, including sexually confused antique cars, kung-fu dogs, and post-Jaws PR rehab sharks (Jabberjaw,we're looking at you). But wait—just when your brain has almost melted, they summon Portland’s very own Sleestak, Brent Marr, a man who built a movie-quality lizard suit just to terrify elevator passengers and make Gen X dreams come true. They bond ov...
Guest: Brent Marr
51
March 19, 2025

Whisky Bottle Guitars, "Remon" Pies, and the World's Greatest Toothpaste Aphrodisiac

Jeff and Chris plunge headfirst into the baffling, unhinged world of vintage commercials. From the seductive promises of Ultra Bright toothpaste (because nothing says romance like fluoride) to a deeply uncomfortable trip into a rainforest, no ad is safe from their scrutiny. They tackle everything from politically incorrect “Remons” to a deeply unsettling PSA about instant milk—because, as it turns out, you can just... add milk to milk? Who knew? Of course, no Nice Pull! episode would be compl...
50
March 11, 2025

Attack of the Red-Headed Vixens, Killer Kites, and that time Nice Pull! became a Video Podcast

Nice Pull! Episode 50 - Now With Video! Jeff and Chris are officially on camera, and the world will never be the same. In this inaugural video episode, they take a deep, ridiculous dive into the public service announcements (PSAs) that shaped (or traumatized) our childhoods. From nightmare-inducing fire prevention ads featuring seductive redheads, to cautionary tales about kite strings—yes, kite strings—they unravel the bizarre world of vintage social messaging. Also on deck: a horrifically mis-...
49
March 4, 2025

Paul is Dead, Mr. Rogers’ Dark Secret, and that time Chris and Jeff Played an Album Backwards

Yet another auditory descent into the labyrinth of misinformation, where childhood rumors reign supreme, and logic is left crying in a corner! Chris and Jeff unearth the unhinged origins of some of history’s dumbest, most bizarre urban legends—from the infamous “Paul is Dead” debacle that had 12-year-olds playing records backward like deranged vinyl wizards, to the chilling truth (?) about Mr. Rogers’ alleged secret past. Along the way, they crack the case of “The Beaver’s” fake demise, revisit ...
48
Feb. 25, 2025

The Dawn of Shopping Malls, the Mysterious Heather Thomas, and that time Chris Bought a Baptismal Certificate from an Adult Bookstore

What starts as a casual discussion about malls quickly mutates into an unhinged, spiral through the sacred rituals of ‘80s adolescence. Marvel as Chris and Jeff take on the unmatched power of an Orange Julius, and undeniable importance of meeting a girl at Sam Goody. But hold on—there’s more! A deep confession about a fraudulent baptismal certificate, a wild detour into the mafia-like mysteries of mall piano stores, and Heather Thomas makes multiple appearances for reasons unclear, yet entirely ...
47
Feb. 18, 2025

SNL’s 50th Birthday, Celebrities we Never Knew were Funny, and that time Jeff got Arrested for Driving a Fake Cop Car

Grown men dressed as Bees, Samurai Chefs, a Church Lady, and yes, “Violins on Television.” This episode is a caffeine-fueled spiral into the history of SNL, where Jeff and Chris relive the shock, the awe, and the sheer lunacy of staying up past bedtime to witness the birth of comedic legends. They also take a hard look at the performers who shocked the world by actually being funny, get unnecessarily angry at random celebrities, and recount a totally normal story about a car, the cops, and a jud...
46
Feb. 11, 2025

Vintage Valentine Cards, Extinct Holidays, and The Dawn of ATM’s

Jeff and Chris tackle the high-stakes arena of Valentine’s Day, where overpriced candy is the currency of love, and office cubicles become gladiator pits for public romantic flexing. From the horrifying reality of middle-aged men wandering into Victoria’s Secret to the lawless frontier of 80s banking, they uncover shocking truths: Was Wells Fargo just Disneyland with worse rides? Did we all just accept that security cameras in the 80s were filming pure static? And how did we survive a time when ...
45
Feb. 4, 2025

Bathroom Knife Fights, Comedian Death Threats, and that time Jeff, Chris, and Dante Saved a Human Life

Prepare for a wild ride through comedy history, high school nostalgia, and near-death experiences—both personal and comedic as Jeff and Chris welcome Dante, a veteran comedian with a resume that includes Last Comic Standing, directing movies and commercials, and winning more BET Awards than any other comic. Dante shares incredible stories about sneaking into the Comedy Store as a teen, and giving Jamie Foxx his first shot at stand-up when he was still Eric Bishop. The conversation veers into the...
Guest: Dante
44
Jan. 28, 2025

Cool and Cruel Baby Names, Mysterious Houses, and Why Jeff Never Wears Velour Shirts

Ever wonder why Jennifer ruled the ‘80s like a baby-naming dictatorship? Or why Zeppelin and Shark are now roaming kindergarten classrooms? Jeff and Chris navigate the bizarre world of names—the good, the bad, and the downright WTF? Other gems from this episode include:🔥 The horrors of Cucumber Day—aka when kindergarten turned into a splatter film 🥒💥🔥 Why Gladys, Bertha, and Agatha were just bad parenting choices 👵🔥 Group projects: Where dreams (and friendships) go to die 📚🔥🔥 The mysterious drie...
43
Jan. 21, 2025

Classic Bands that Still Sound Great, Classic Bands that Should Just Stay Home, and the Celebrity Musician that Chris Likes to Hang Out With at Costco

In this episode of NICE PULL!, Chris and Jeff delve into the strange, sometimes tragic world of aging rockstars who refuse to hang it up. From legendary frontmen still clinging to their glory days (sometimes literally) to tribute bands so good they trigger an identity crisis, the guys tackle the big question: When does a band stop being a band? Along the way, Chris shares a Costco encounter that defies all logic and somehow, Elvis Costello catches a stray. Will they finally give Fleetwood Mac th...
42
Jan. 14, 2025

Japanese Cartoons, Giant Flying Robots, and Godzilla’s Swimming Tips

This episodes Pulls...Speed Racer / Hanna Barbera / Filmation / Pulp Fiction / Burger King / Anime / Chim Chim / The Car Acrobatic Team / Racer X / Trixie / Sparky / Pops Racer / Rex Racer / The Mach 5 / The Bourne Identity (Supremacy) / Quick Draw McGraw / The Bionic Man / Ultraman / DC / Marvel / Warner Bros. / Bugs Bunny / Looney Toons / Rankin and Bass (again) / Marionation (again) / The Science Patrol / Abominable Snowman (again) / Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (again) / T...
41
Jan. 7, 2025

Legendary Disc Jockey Bryan Shock Discusses The Dawn of Alternative Music and his 100,000 Watt Flame Thrower

This episode’s PULLS...Bryan Schock / 91X / KGB / KPRI / Kiss / George Benson / Judas Priest / Tijuana (again) / Stairway to Heaven / Mad Max / “Rock of the 80s” / Rush / Sue Delany / Loverboy / Pat Benatar / Thompson Twins / Tom Petty / The Rolling Stones / The Beatles / The Sex Pistols / The Clash / Iggy Pop / Elvis Costello / Joe Jackson / Duran Duran / Culture Club / Wham / Billy Bones / The Warriors / The Baseball Furies / Scritti Politi / Haysi Fantayzee / Toto Coelo / Led...
Guest: Bryan Schock
40
Dec. 31, 2024

New Years Resolutions, The Evolution of the Ice Cream Man, and the Art of the Suicide Slurpee

This episode’s PULLS...A Christmas Carroll / Scrooge / Cat’s in the Cradle / G.I. Joe / Kung-Fu Grip / The Seven Fishes / The Muppets Christmas Carroll / Die Hard / The Sting / Robert Redford / Paul Newman / Hans Gruber / John McClain / Slurpee Cups / 7-11 / “Suicide” drinks / Carnation Frozen Malts / Sno-Cones / Hawaiian Shaved Ice / Abba Zabba / Push-ups / Fudgesicle / Ice Cream Sandwich / Ice Cream Drum Sticks / Rocket Pop / Rubber Pouch Coin Purse / Quentin Taran...
39
Dec. 17, 2024

The Dark Side of Santa, The Real Story Behind The Grinch, and the Reason Chris’ Dad Hates Rudolph

This episode’s PULLS...Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer / Frosty the Snowman / Rankin and Bass / Marionation / The Thunderbirds / Fireball XL-5 / Gerry Anderson / Davy and Goliath / Gumby / Howdy Doody / Burgermeister Meisterburger / Heat Miser / Cold Miser / Sant Claus is Coming to Town / Fred Astaire / John Wayne / Groucho Marx / Burl Ives / Tom Selleck / Abominable Snowman / The Beatles (again) / Yellow Submarine / Harvey’s Bristol Cream / Lex Luther / Darth Vader / Buddy...
38
Dec. 10, 2024

Smokey and The Bandit, Exploding Christmas Lights, and Chris’ Condom Dispensing Alarm Clock

This episode’s PULLS...Charlie Brown / Linus (again) / Clark Griswald / Stormtrooper Armor (again) / Smokey and the Bandit / Mr. T / The A Team (again) / The Grinch / Lawn Darts (again) / The Rockford Files / Starsky and Hutch. / Huggy Bear / Angel / Near Beer / Barry White / The Clapper / Krazy Glue / Super Elastic Bubble Plastic (again) / Sham-Wow / Sasquatch / “As Seen On TV” / Oxy Clean / CVS / Rite Aid / Thigh Master / Chia Pet / Pet Rock / David Bowie
37
Dec. 3, 2024

Ring Around the Collar, Dishpan Hands, and the Most Embarrassing Thing Jeff has ever Put on his Lips

This episode’s PULLS...The Split Enz / Wella Balsam / Pantene / Head and Shoulders / Prell / Breck / Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific / Clearasil / Stridex Pads / Aqua Velva / Old Spice / Dial Soap / Lava Soap / Sav-On (again) / HABA / Goodie Combs (again) / Thrifties (again) / Toni Home Permanent / Ronald McDonald / Secret Deodorant / “Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman” / Irish Spring Deodorant Soap / “Manly yes, but I like it too” / Dickies / Whisk Detergent / “...
36
Nov. 26, 2024

T.V. Catch Phrases, Commercial Jingles, and that time Chris’ Dad acted like a Giant Baby

This episode’s PULLS...“I’d like to buy the world a coke” / Hair (The Musical) / Mad Men / “My bologna has a first name” / Oscar Mayer / Shag Carpets / Wrought Iron / Wood Paneling / Hebrew National / Liverwurst / Head Cheese / Wonder Bread / “Aaaaay” / The Fonz (again) / Farah Fawcett Poster / Lynda Carter Poster / “Sit on it” / American Graffiti / The Jeffersons / Good Times / “Dyno-mite!” / Alice / “Kiss my grits” / Flo / Killer Bees (again) / Quick Sand (again) / The Manson ...
35
Nov. 20, 2024

Old School Dating, Adolescent Romance, and that time a Bunch of Girls gave Chris their Phone Number

This episode’s PULLS...Brady Bunch (again) / Marcia Brady / Senior Prom / Junior Prom / Captain Kidd’s Seafood Galley / Richie Cunningham (again) / Greg Brady / Tim Matheson / Bill Murray / William Shatner / Yearbooks / Law and Order / Colombo (again) / Tang (again) / Bubble Up / Orange Crush / Round Table Pizza / Sadie Hawkins Dance / Homecoming Dance / Doc and Gopher / Eddie Haskell / The Comedy Store / Fame / Steven Seagal
34
Nov. 12, 2024

The Bicentennial, Disco Ducks, and that time Deborah Harry Escaped a Serial Killer

This episode’s PULLS...Charlie Brown (again) / Jack Lord / Chris Rock / Richard Nixon / Pepsi Free / The Bicentennial / The Olympics / Cole’s Carpets / Waterbed Emporium / Jerome’s / Bicentennial Quarters / The Bicentennial Minute / Walter Cronkite / Dolly Madison / Zingers / The Brady Bunch (again) / The Carpenters / Afternoon Delight / The Boston Tea Party / CB Radios / Convoy / Sight and Sound / Blade Runner / Star Trek (again) / Disco Duck / Rick Dees / Ryan Seacrest / Thoma...
33
Nov. 5, 2024

Pantless Pigs, Humans Marrying Rabbits, and Why Chris Thinks Linus is a Dick

This episode’s PULLS...Zotz candy / Newhart / Tom Poston / It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown / Linus / Lucy / Marcy / Peppermint Pattie / Charles Schultz / Sally / Bugs Bunny / Peanuts / Rerun / The Brady Bunch (again) / Porky Pig / Donald Duck / Elmer Fudd / Daffy Duck / Goofy / Pluto / Stand By Me / Fantasia / Pinocchio / Looney Tunes / Speed Racer / Scooby Doo / I Dream of Jeanie (again) / Knott’s Berry Farm / Magic Mountain / Edward G. Robinson / Disney / Mickey Mouse / R...